FUCK FUCKING BOYS GOD FUCKING DAMNIT.

okay, so. i sent chad this message on myspace and i was like

you're a fucking asshole, i hope you know.

you couldn't have called me and been like,

"hey hannah, this isn't working out." or,

"hey hannah, i like someone else."

but no, you just had to be a fucking pussy about it.

so, FUCK YOU. basically.

and he replied

and his response was

"yep, fuck me."

fucking asshole. omg.

indeed. i'm going downhill fast. 

i don't know what to do. 

there's nothing i can do.

my medicene isn't working. 

there's a delusion that i'm living in my own world that i've created. 

i don't even know if i beleive in god anymore. 

i'm dating someone who doesn't understand. 

why am i dating him?

because i don't know what else to do. 

all he ever says is "i'm sorry"

why doesn't he have anything else to say?

why does he says i love you if he doesn't mean it?

why do i say it when i don't mean it?

i mean, i mean it, but not like that. 

i love him as a person.

i just don't know if i can truflully say "i love you" in a romantic setting. 

i have to work today. on fucking 4/20.  god fucking damnit. i'll probably just end up at home after work doing nothing....playing my stupid fucking nintendo. i don't even care. 

i don't even care anymore.

so i know i haven't written in here for over a year, and that's sad. 

my life hasn't changed all that much.

my parents are still being lame.

boys are still being lame.

school is still being lame.

everything is still being lame.

WHATUP

i can't write for long because i'm at the library and i wasted most of my time on myspace because i'm lamee liike that.

anywhoo..........i dont really have anything specific to say...uh,. yeah. i'm really bad at school.

wish i had a computer. and my ipod.damnit. i hate my dad.

cheers. x<3

so i'm back.

at my gramma's.

homeless

call for details. <3<3<3

so it's 5:42 AM. i just finished my personal narrative. and i think it SUCKS COCK.

but you know whatever. it's not even close to the due date.

I'M SO DAMN WEIRD.

cunt.

ME AND LEAHFACE GOT
HITCHED/MURRIED/SEXWHENEVERWEWANT

TODAY!!!!11

we took disposable camera pictures & wore tacky beautiful hats.
leah gave me a heineken beer bottle cap necklace and i gave her a ring. ;] it's gorgeous and i'm wearing it for the rest of my life.
Our wedding song was lau by bright eyes. muahahahaha!!

gorgeous. now we are off to the reception!!!

WISH LIST.
(if any of you care...)

( wheeee )

so i'm in photograohy.

i'm sick, i feel like shit, and there's a million projects due in here that i have no idea what's going on.
i decided at 12:50 last night my bed wasn't working and i went to go sleep in the bathtub. so that was great. that got old so i slept in the recliner. so then i had another bad dream. i was in a deserted carnival at night, blaring lights and all the crazy music and shit. then this little boy comes off the ferris wheel with a pistol. i'm like "woah, run away" and he's like "i don't think so bang bang bang"

so i'm watching the bullets eat through my skin, blood everywhere. he shot me something like 5-6 times. in the chest twice, in the stomach, in the arm and in the leg. i can see the ligiments and tissue of everything, i can see my heart pulsing, i can see my intestines. i pull out the bullets and then i get turned inside out.

and then i wake up and try to make something resembling peach cake...or something....it's 5:00, i'm tired, i'm sick, & i have to be on time for school.

i watched the lost world or something on TNT with really bad special effects and hiliarious dialouge & acting.
i came to school. atleast people i love are here. like kelsey. and kerry. and leah. and courtney. and ryan. and and and ETC.

i killed a muppet.

I'M IN PHOTOGRAPHY WITH pourqueestoy

i missed the lockdown drill because i was late for school and they wouldn't let me in so i  had to stay in the car with my mo for like 30 minutes and listen to her act like a therapist, ew. &&& the black police officer was all like OMG WTF DON'T GO IN THER EKLSJDFLJKSELFKJSLFKJLEK!!!!!!111

then i went in and and and and i now have like 15/16 tardies. KELSEY HAS A LIVE JOURNAL OMFOMFOMFOMOGMOGMOGMOGMGOGMOMG. she is pourqueestoy. ^^^

the toilet was singing to mollli. ANDY MILONKUS.

SO UM KELSEY IS WEARING HARRISON'S GLASSES AND SHE LOOKS GANGSTARRR.

she said that they make my boobs look bigger. and everything else.

i need a haircut.

i don't like pollution. because i have to write a stupid fucking paper about it.

we are all going to shave our heads. BAHAHAHAHAHA.
for 5 dollars.

YAY.

So I'm realizing that maybe I'm not so fucked up. I'm learning the world caters to "vanilla" kids. & i'm strawberry. [nothing racial meant.]
We're in the process of getting a 504 plan at school so it'll be a little easier. the things we're asking for goes like this:

-leniency on getting to school in the morning
-reduced h/w
-getting isolated during tests

so that's all we have so far. but there's gonna be a meeting or soemthing soon. with the cool lady with insane blonde hair. :]
Anyways.

I don't know what i want to be for halloween. :\ i was thinking maybe marla singer. yeah. i think i want to be marla singer. :]

basically.

i don't know.

eric needs to stop doing drugs.

my dad needs to realize that just because he thinks the only person he's hurting is himself, he's fucking wrong.

people just need to leave me the fuck alone so i can figure things out for myself. i don't want or need your goddamn help. alright?
i'm fucking 15 and i'm sick of getting treated like i don't know anything. i know. i just may do things that make it look like i don't know. when really, the fact is I DON'T FUCKING CARE.

so.

i'm suspended tommorow for tardies. wwwwwooooo. well, atleast that means i can put off my math homework another day. unfourtunatly it also means that life is going to hell. detention on thurs. & saturday detention this week. great stuff to look forward to, i'm telling you.

the alien baby in my stomach is slowly devouring my interior. it's so pleasant, omg you don't even know.

and i'm becoming fat regardless of this fact.

what the hell.